As I was sitting up one night with my mother, talking about this and that, I found myself confessing my distaste for the general lack of stomach when it comes to honesty. I'm at a point in my life where even the thought of sugarcoating the truth is nauseating.
Of course I'm not referring to the occasional white lie or even the menial (and not so menial) lies we may find ourselves falling into on any given day. These things are a way of life and always will be. I'm referring to the fact that people are almost often forced to lie because no one can... well, handle the truth.
I have a tendency to hurt peoples feelings or offend strangers by the things that come out of my mouth. While I find I have to take some personal responsibility when it comes to holding my tounge, I find more frequently that the problem lies with these blinders society has tried to force upon us over the years. We've been numbed so much that now even simple truths shock us. While you shouldn't go around saying whatever you feel to whomever you feel like, you should be able to speak your mind without getting napalmed with overreactions.
This is where the idea for the Honest Bitch blog entries came from. In an effort to fill the void on my blog that this transitional moment in my life has left, I will commentate on the things I do, see, and hear with reckless truth.
Maybe one day they will be their own little blog, but for now, the HB entries will live here because it was something I said I was gonna do and here I am doing it.
If you have any topics you want honest-fied, email me at imgonnadothatgirl@gmail.com! Catch y'all on the flip side.
In other news, I had a super fabulous weekend in Raleighwood that involved things like swimming and cheap champagne. I'm starting to truly master this whole weekend concept. I think I'll be an expert soon enough...
Tonight I'm gonna brainstorm for this and my other severely malnourished blogs, and tomorrow I'm gonna work and run errands.
Disclaimer: this is a spastic entry. The subject at hand makes me feel a little insane. You've been warned.
I have been waiting DAYS to write this entry. It's going to be my last one. I'm going to miss everyone so much, especially you, Donald Glover. I wish I had more time, but sadly, I don't. After all, tomorrow is the end of the world (kind of) because Harold Camping said so! (He also said so in 1994 and when the day came and went, he said it was due to "bad math." Dude, check it: you have a bad brain. It doesn't function correctly. You are a moron.)
According to this Bible gig, none of us would know when the ever-feared Rapture would occur. I don't know why someone who says the Bible is telling him the world is going to end wouldn't know that. Did you miss out on an episode of "Reading Rainbow," Harold? I bet "Hooked on Phonics" still works...
But hey, if you still believe it, get down with your bad self. I won't ever see you again because I'm clearly not going anywhere. While you're in the clouds, I'll be stealing cool things from all of you people who floated into the sky and fighting the antichrist.
If this were the last day of civilization as we know it, I guess I would be sad I couldn't finally take this gonna project to a new level. Sure, I wouldn't have to pay for the Internet anymore, but I'd go ahead and bet the Internet would be down in a matter of hours.
I'd want to be with my loved ones, laughing my ass off, eating so much I wanted to puke. I'd want to have Comedy Thursday on a continuous loop and John Mayer on my couch. I'd want to dance until the end of the world.
But wait! According to Camping, us left-behind folk would be around until October anyway. 5 MONTHS OF EVERYTHING I JUST SAID!?!?! Free shit? Party 24/7? Fighting the antichrist "Shaun of the Dead" style? Sign me up.
Hahahhaa, I'm sorry. This is so ridiculous. I can't take it seriously. I just... I can't believe the things that some religious sects spit out. I can't believe that no one can take personal responsibility for anything. It's always whatever the particular god at hand has done, never his followers. I can't stress enough how much I think the destruction of Earth will be caused by us and only us, not some ominous Father Time lookalike in the sky.
If you're still hanging on to this notion with every last breath of your body, I guess you want to know how I'll really be spending today.
Well, today I'm gonna drive to Boone and probably do a little of nothing and everything. I'm gonna see "Bridesmaids" with Sara and Alie. I'm probably gonna be cold. I'm gonna see my roommate. I'm gonna go through withdrawal when I remember I don't have cable. You know, real deep shit. It's important to contemplate things like Kristin Wiig's face during your last few hours on Earth.
Sidenote: the world can't end before "The Hangover 2" comes out, "Parks and Rec" returns in the fall, and all of the following things:
I'm really sad that I didn't beat Alex Day to all of these jokes... except the Harry Potter dig. Crossing the line, dude.
Sidenote sidenote: IT'S ALREADY MAY 21ST IN MANY COUNTRIES AND EVERYONE IS FINE.
I'm gonna try to enjoy it fully, but I'm gonna be honest: I AM EXHAUSTED!
Yesterday was another day of Astoria adventures. I had so much fun listening to the three people beside me in the bagel shop talk politics. Stephanie and I headed out pretty late to grab dinner. We walked around in the chilly weather for an obscene amount of time for people with hungry stomachs, and finally ended up at a bar a block away from her house.
I then only slept for an hour and a half & have to be awake at 5:30 tomorrow to catch my train back home. This is the most ineloquent blog entry I've ever written, but I don't have the energy to care right now.
See the amount of fuckness I do not give? Maybe I need a Nutriyum bar.
