My idea of fun is getting up early and walking on a lake shore or up a mountain trail. My idea of fun is working hard on something I am passionate about. My idea of fun is marathoning good television and film, sometimes all day. My idea of fun is making a home and spending a lot of time there. My idea of fun is a game where no one cares about winning, only being clumsy and having a good time. My idea of fun is writing, reading, acting, singing, dancing even when I'm bad at it. My idea of fun is creating new things, relaxing with my pets, and holding the hand of the person I love while doing it all.
You see, my idea of fun is incredibly internal. It has everything to do with me because at my core, I only need myself to have a good time... well, except for when I want my partner there to just smile and be there as I have that fun. So when someone tells me I'm not fun, not only are they insulting my right to define for myself what is fun, but what makes up the 99% of that definition: me.
My idea of fun is not drinking as much as I can as often as I can. I enjoy a drink from time to time, but I more enjoy being able to wake up the next morning and work out or do something else I love. My idea of fun does not require many people. I do enjoy hanging out with pals, but I don't like having to justify that I'm simply ready to be alone or I'm feeling overwhelmed when I don't want to hang out every single time someone asks. My idea of fun is not having to go out. I do like to adventure to new places, but I don't require it to feel alive, to feel some desperate sense of newness; I already hold that awe and wonder inside me every day. I hold it in mind when I'm doing my fun things, and I hold it in my heart.
My idea of fun is being able to have my own version of fun without being chastised. My idea of fun is finding people who understand the same kind of fun I do, or at the very least, understand we don't have to have the same ideas to both be fun in our own ways. My idea of fun is one day being understood. My idea of fun is my own, and though its definition may change over the years, I will always be the same. I will always be me.
And me? I am fun.