Pulse Check

If remembering me after my admittedly prolonged absence is not too hard to do, you might remember I turned 26 a few months ago. In honor of that, I decided to evolve the gonnas once again into a cute little list of things I was gonna make happen in the course of a year. I've had the fortune of crossing one of the to-do's off my list multiple times, but I realized that as often as I pulse check my list, you guys might be a little left in the dark. Without further ado, here are my charts, people! Please feel free to peruse them, and definitely let me know if you see signs of infection or impending death.

1. Wake up with the sun at least 180 days over the next year.

I've only woken up with the sun for about a week total so far, but thanks to a new job opportunity, this gonna will slowly start melting away!

2. Fly to visit my sister in Japan.

Not yet, but truly hoping the aforementioned job opportunity will be my ticket to this gonna. I can't wait to see all the beautiful scenery in person I've seen in her photos so far.

3. Finish my screenplay.

I've made some progress here! I'm still closer to the start than the finish, but I am also further from the beginning than I was before.

4. Don't let items I have gathered to create a project sit on my shelf for more than 2 weeks... ever.

This 26-for-26 gonna has been an epic failure so far. I have reminded myself that with all that's going on, it's okay to let this goal slide....... but I still can't help but wish I had the time to stick to my guns. I have done a little better about downsizing and working on what I can here and there, but there is definitely room for improvement before next July.

5. Diagnose and solve my voice problems, then sing publicly when I have the all clear.

I have actually DONE the latter half of this goal (karaoke nights DO COUNT, especially when you sing Les Mis by yourself) without doing the first. While I feel liberated and more ready to tackle this goal, more than anything, I now know that there is absolutely a REAL problem with my voice, and I need to take care of it now rather than later.

6. Get my teaching license.

As long as I keep my nose to the grindstone (and learn to accept that a perfect 4.0 might not be possible with a full-time job AND classes), I should have my license in May!

7. Write one blog every week!

This is the one that really spurred me to update everyone since I obviously haven't been blogging weekly. However, I have been writing a little more here and there overall, which is really what's important to me. I think a more properly worded goal would be "Have 52 new blog entries by next year," meaning if I have the time to write five times in one week, I will. If I have no time to write for a month, that's okay, too.

8. Learn to drive a manual car.

My handsome teacher is currently out of stick-shifting commission, so this is on hold for the time being. 

9. Make 50 YouTube videos.

I've made one. ONE! I've got work to do...

10. Get over my fear of heights by climbing a lighthouse, ziplining, both, or more!

Whereas I once dreaded this gonna, I'm actually kinda looking forward to getting over this fear, or at least diminishing it in my mind. The question remains: what exactly will I be doing to get over this fear? Skydiving is out, but I'm open to other suggestions, y'all.

11. Teach someone something life-changing.

Hopefully I will be doing this every day in my new position. And hopefully, it'll be somewhat tangible so I can report back here.

12. Make a Southern road trip to Texas and back.

See #2.

13. Finish writing a book with C.

We are so, so close to finishing this gonna. We have a self-imposed deadline of early December so we can distribute these bad boys as presents. It's so crazy to think that months ago, this story was just an idea, and now, it's almost finished!

14. Learn how to sew.

I have no idea how to even begin this one, but I REALLY, REALLY want to learn. Help?

15. Go legit camping for a weekend with J and the pups.

This has almost happened a handful of times, but life keeps getting in the way. We must make a note to ignore it for a weekend before it gets too cold!

16. Spend more time with my family.

I feel like I've been doing this, but I don't think I'll be able to properly gauge this until next July when I see the progress I've made over the course of a full year.

17. Do some photoshoots (at least one!) with a professional photographer.

18. Get something published.

I've found some contests for publishing, but so far, none of my already written material meets the criteria. Since I'm not in the position to write something brand new, the search continues... for now.

19. Raise $500 for my business, Southern Sheek.

I haven't raised anything so far. I'll most likely have to save this gonna until closer to the end of the year!

20. Do a Goodwill-level cleanout every 3 months until I only have what I (for the most part) need.

I have done this in off-beat ways, but there is definitely more to do before I can cross this off my list in good faith. I've been consigning some of my stuff with my favorite local store, as well as gathering random items here and there before loading them in bags in my trunk. I guess I need to actually make my way to Goodwill now, right?

21. Let go of toxic people in my life.

I've had to do some of this already, but whether I've really cleaned out the toxicity closet (and whether I've done it well) remains to be seen.

22. Make a weekend trip to a new place, any place.

I've made a lot of weekend trips, but none to a new place so far! Still waiting to find the perfect, cheap destination.

23. Write and send fanmail to all those people who have inspired me along the way.

I have addresses; I just need to get to writing!

24. Meet a sloth!

I actually attempted to do this with J, and my friends L and B, at a local science museum...... BUT THE SLOTH HAD INEXPLICABLY BEEN MOVED TO THE AQUARIUM, which was under construction. P.S. Sloths are great swimmers, so I mean, I GUESS I GET IT, but I really almost cried.

25. Really make 10 people's day - five of whom I know and five strangers.

Hopefully I've done this without knowing, but now that I have the means to pay it forward, I'm really going to try and do a better job.

26. Be thankful and say so at the end of every day.

Despite this one seeming so easy, it's actually the hardest for me. Most days, I am thankful and say so. But there are days when {most} everything seems so bad that it's hard to remember to be grateful for the things that remain intact. I have been doing better lately, and I'm hoping I've trained my brain to stay in that spot of thankfulness.

Requiem for Cory

There are some pieces writers put off finishing or even beginning in the first place. There are some entries in our diaries, our blogs, or even still inside our heads we just don't look forward to completing because something strikes a nerve. The reason we feel compelled to write in the first place is when things hit close to home, but it never makes the sort of heart-twisting topics easier to tackle.

Where do I even begin?

A complete stranger, aged 31, died recently of a drug overdose. But he didn't feel like a stranger to me, and the situation didn't either. When Gleekland lost its highschool sweetheart, it brought me right back to losing my own seven years ago. Both men, full of so much goodness and so much left to give, were stopped short by a demon paired with the chemicals which fueled it.

I feel so strongly the loss of his loved ones. Even more strongly, I feel we are not educating our young population about drugs because we go about it from an abstinence stand point. "Drugs are bad. Don't do them EVER! BECAUSE I SAID SO!"

Just like abstinence-only sex-ed programs, this doesn't work. When you tell someone simply not to do something without educating them on what could happen if they do engage in said activity, you are essentially doing nothing. In fact, you might be peaking their interest.

I remember being nine years old, sitting in the classroom and listening to a local police officer talk to us in our [insert unmemorable time frame here] D.A.R.E. meeting. I can't remember a single specific this now-defunct program told us, only that drugs and alcohol were not partners to tango with. I passed with a certificate. We all did.

The problem is no one ever told us what would really happen. No one told us almost all of us would end up drinking on a socially-acceptable level. No one told us half of us would be users of some kind, whether recreationally or habitually. No one told us about the gaunt cheeks we would see on the faces of the people we loved, the frail bodies we would barely notice of people we once called our friends. No one told us our friends would really die, not just in a fake prom-night accident we were allowed to opt out of viewing. No one told us they would really leave us, and leave us forever; some in horrible, violent ways, some in peaceful, lonely ways. Most importantly, no one told us how much their loved ones would hurt when they were gone. No one told us how much we'd cry when we had to sit through another senseless wake. No one told us the things that mattered, the things that could have prevented us from making almost all of these fatal mistakes to begin with.

What does it take to make the powers-that-be realize abstinence-only education about drugs, about sex, about alcohol, about gambling, about weapons, about the hundreds of other things humans abuse is not working? More death?

We don't need a war on drugs. We need an education worthy of the devastation these things can bring not just me or a TV star, but one worthy of the despair we have all felt after losing someone we loved because none of us was the wiser.

Let's become the wiser. Let's help our nieces and nephews and siblings and children and grandchildren understand. Let's let them actually grow up, and grow up in a world with a little less tragedy... and a lot more information.