My Definition of Fun

... is not the same as yours. I don't mind that notion one bit. I like liking what I like, not what someone prescribes me to like. I like being myself and even more so, feeling free to be myself. What I don't like is being told I'm not fun based on a fabricated charade of fun most people follow. That's not my idea of fun.

My idea of fun is getting up early and walking on a lake shore or up a mountain trail. My idea of fun is working hard on something I am passionate about. My idea of fun is marathoning good television and film, sometimes all day. My idea of fun is making a home and spending a lot of time there. My idea of fun is a game where no one cares about winning, only being clumsy and having a good time. My idea of fun is writing, reading, acting, singing, dancing even when I'm bad at it. My idea of fun is creating new things, relaxing with my pets, and holding the hand of the person I love while doing it all.

You see, my idea of fun is incredibly internal. It has everything to do with me because at my core, I only need myself to have a good time... well, except for when I want my partner there to just smile and be there as I have that fun. So when someone tells me I'm not fun, not only are they insulting my right to define for myself what is fun, but what makes up the 99% of that definition: me.

My idea of fun is not drinking as much as I can as often as I can. I enjoy a drink from time to time, but I more enjoy being able to wake up the next morning and work out or do something else I love. My idea of fun does not require many people. I do enjoy hanging out with pals, but I don't like having to justify that I'm simply ready to be alone or I'm feeling overwhelmed when I don't want to hang out every single time someone asks. My idea of fun is not having to go out. I do like to adventure to new places, but I don't require it to feel alive, to feel some desperate sense of newness; I already hold that awe and wonder inside me every day. I hold it in mind when I'm doing my fun things, and I hold it in my heart.

My idea of fun is being able to have my own version of fun without being chastised. My idea of fun is finding people who understand the same kind of fun I do, or at the very least, understand we don't have to have the same ideas to both be fun in our own ways. My idea of fun is one day being understood. My idea of fun is my own, and though its definition may change over the years, I will always be the same. I will always be me.

And me? I am fun.

I WON?!?!?!

Do y'all remember this post?

... I'll give you a minute ...

Well, lo and behold, my look (and therefore this blog) was one of the winners of Kate Walsh and Bloglovin's Boyfriend Look contest. I'm stoked to be getting her Boyfriend perfume, but more stoked to have a great woman of substance like Kate select my look AND give the blog a little free publicity in the process.

Check out the scent and Kate's site.

Oh, and if you're new here, check out my blog... and tell Kate I said thanks for being one f'awesome, beautiful lady! ;)

xx,

Rachel

On How to Deal with a Quarter-Life Crisis

If you've been wondering where I am, make sure you're following me at Southern Sheek. I've been posting there a lot to vamp up for a fundraising campaign I just launched last night! I'm trying to be proactive in making my dreams come true. All you women, who independent, throw ya hands up at meeeee...

I've also been a little... how do I put this? Ah, yes... insane. I'm bouncing off the walls with the aforementioned time management struggle, not to mention working my ass off while also trying to start my own business, all while looking like the god damn picture of perfection. Oh, and did I mention I'm turning 25 in less than 10 days?

Quarter-life crisis is a term I became familiar with around my 15th birthday. I'd been listening to that John Mayer kid a lot and when I heard him sing "Might be a quarter-life crisis" in that JAM "Why, Georgia," I thought "Damn, that's stupid. What could you possibly have wrong with your life at age 25? Must be a guy thing."

But as I've been edging closer to the line, piled on years of listening to that song, that album, that singer, I realize just how right he was. How right he is.

In that essence, I have been doing a lot of things to avoid thinking about the big 2-5, or rather, think about it in a glorious light instead of a holy-shit-I'm-old kind of flicker.

• I have decided to dye my hair for the first time in my life. That's right, my hair is straight VIRGIN, and while I'm not trying to completely change my hair identity, it would be nice to change up my look for the next quarter of life.

• I have been trying to replace everything in my immediate space. I'm not going to buy a new family or dump my boyfriend, but I do want to buy a new computer, and paint all the walls everywhere, and redecorate ALL the things, and make new stuff, and buy a totally new wardrobe, and finally get a "new" car, and...

• I have been questioning my life choices. Like "Maybe I should be a pauper, attempting to act my life away," or "Maybe I should have kids because I'm so close to death now and all of life's fun is gone." You know, the good stuff.

• I have reaffirmed my life choices. But then I remember I want to drown most kids in a bath, I am already poor so I can do whatever I want anyway, then drink a beer and watch "Steel Magnolias" while crying my makeup off.

• I have been making everyone around me question their own sanity. I can't tell you how many times J has looked around a room, searching for real life, when I've been on a diatribe about how annoying it is when girls wear sandals to float down the river. BUT REALLY, WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING TENNIS SHOES?!

• I have been sleeping really early then really late. I go to bed really early. I go to bed really late. I don't know.

• I have been hobby crazy. I am remembering my love for photography, design, crafts, video, writing, baking, etc. all at the same time. It's an avalanche pressing harder and harder on my brain as they all compete for time and space.

• I have been trying to make giant life plans. Trip back to NY? Trip down south to meet and visit friends? FINALLY take an adventure to Europe?! Buy a house? SURE, LET'S DO IT ALL RIGHT NOW!

• I have realized that my life sucks. I am 25 and have barely had a year of job experience under my belt. I don't have my own things. I don't live like a Kardashian. Life!!!!!

• I have realized my life is AWESOME. I am 25 and I have done an entire mountain of things, I have crazy cool people who love me, I have ambition and drive, a giant to-do list, and I'm on my way to greatness. Besides, I still have five more years before I have to give up that title of "20-something."

All-in-all, I've realized 25, while scary, is going to be the best yet. Ring in my quarter century at the beach with my family, good food, presents, and cocktails? Don't mind if I do.

Come home to celebrate 1-year with my lover boy? I'll take it.

SURPRISE PARTY FOR THE BIGGEST MILESTONE BDAY OF MY LIFE?!?!? There better be, bitches. There better be...

Unapologetic Fangirl

“I don’t believe in guilty pleasures, I believe you should be able to like what you like. If you a like a fucking Ke$ha song, listen to fucking Ke$ha.” -- Dave Grohl

As I grow older, I find it harder to hide the things I love. I also find it harder to justify those things to other people. Yes, I like to watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians when no one's around. Why, of course I read Tori Spelling's books and weep over them. Yeah, I probably do have an unhealthy obsession and identification with Girls. WHAT'S IT TO YOU, WHOREBISCUIT?

Yesterday I probably would have said, "Well, it's really just a guilty pleasure and I know it's bad and blah, blah, fucking BLAH." Today I say, to hell with that. I am who I am, and that's a fangirl who fangirls about a lot of shit. Like shit that doesn't even make sense for one entity to be equally obsessive over.

This brings on this whole other level of justification. "I mean yeah, I do love Star Wars, but I also really love crafting, and I mean I totally enjoy fashion, but I am like crazy in lust with outdoor adventuring!!!!~*"

I'm throwing that bi-polar rationalization out the window, too. I don't have to explain why I like what I like, and I certainly don't have to explain the complexities of the human mind, and maybe, JUST MAYBE, that's why I like things that are on completely different ends of the Kinsey scale of fandom. I'm just tired of that judgmental, bulgy side-eye thing. Don't judge me for what I like, bro, at least not enough to make you a dick. Be polite judge-y Southern about it.

You don't have to love what I love. God knows I don't love everything in your trunk o' stuff n' things. Let me listen to my Carly Rae Jepsen in peace while I drink warm tea out of my Simon Pegg mug.

Fandom collage anyone? No? Too late...

I'm just a Simon Pegg lovin', Angie worshipping, comedy slave who loves fashion, the South, Star Wars, New York City, decorating, crafting, a little reality TV, and drinking my mimosas heavy on the champagne side.

It's okay that I am a clusterfuck of different compulsions... you are too.

What are your biggest fandoms? I haven't even scratched the surface of mine!

P.S. My fonts are really awesome now. If you're getting a weird combo like Curlz and Times New Roman, I haven't lost my mind. Your browser just needs a life upgrade.

The Full Gonna Experience

Since I recently signed up for another service, I figured now would be a good time to get everyone caught up on where exactly The Gonna Girl is hanging out on the Internet. I know most of you who follow me have long known about my various media outlets for this blog, but I have to keep my new readers in mind! Bear with me, Gonna Vets.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

If you're not using bloglovin', do it. I seriously don't understand how I lived without it! You can follow my blog there as well.

If you're not already following me on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest look for the buttons to the right with their coinciding names. These will lead you to the accounts so you can follow me for updates and exclusives not seen here!

 As for Instagram, my site button will lead you to a Hashgram account so you can actually see all of my photos, regardless if you're an Instagrammer. If you are the latter however, follow me directly on Instagram at – what else? – thegonnagirl.

My contact information is found here. Use it!

Now that'll be all for a while, folks. I'm going on VACATION!!!!! I'll be at the beach in a swanky little house with my man and a bunch o' pals. It's gonna be amazing, but I'll miss my blogees!

(I've got some entries on deck, but who knows if they'll actually publish when/where they're supposed to. I guess you'll know before me, right?!)

Have a lovely week, darlings. I'll be back!

P.S. I've hit over 10,000 views! Thanks, y'all.

Gonna What?

While waiting patiently for some dentistry coverage war to fizzle out, I haven't really known which of my harder hitting gonnas to work on. Sadly, I haven't the money for most of them. Others of them need tons of preparation, both mentally and physically. I pondered over my little list, which hasn't grown at all – oops? – and realized I've already done one of them.

I know, what? Like why haven't I been toasting champagne to myself in celebration?! Why am I not lying on a chaise lounge, being fed grapes by lots of admirers from the far ends of the earth? Because I didn't even realize this gonna was on my list. My bad.

See, I'd kind of slipped it in there in this extremely vague fashion. The bullet "Bad health" with some indecipherable-to-everyone-but-me notes parenthesized beside it could mean a million things. Do I want bad health? Is it the name of a shitty little rock band I love?

Though I'm sure you've picked up on my myriad of health issues, and the anxiety it's caused me, and the hatred for most doctors I now have, and my inability to do anything I want, AND... anyway, I digress. The point is, I made it a gonna goal to FIX what I deemed as my "bad health." While I have miles to go since I was so deep inside the pit that is rock bottom, I'm happy to say I'm now bivvying on the mid-side of that pit. Inadvertently, of course.

It all started after a holiday season of overindulgence. J and I were tired of looking at our newly transformed bodies, despite the fact my mouth still watered thinking about all of the awesome food we'd ingested over the months prior. We decided to do something about it, and it didn't take us too long to arrive at the inevitable conclusion of gym membership.

We signed up in February, and though we've had our fair share of obstacles here and there, we've done pretty well keeping up. We aren't there everyday (yet), but I can see the changes, and oh man, can I feel 'em.

The fact I have to pace myself due to my ever-sensitive heart gets me weird, judgy looks from gym snobs, but I don't really care because I'm feeling so much better. I've found what works for me and will continue to work at it 'til I find the optimal regimen. Oh, and just because I pace myself, Tapout Frat-King, doesn't mean I haven't lost almost 20 pounds, toned my muscles, increased my strength, and decreased my heart issue flare-ups. Suck on that, penis breath.

In addition to working on strengthening my body inside and out, I've been trying really, really hard to kick my sugar addiction. The one food I crave all day long is ice cream, and I could literally eat an entire quart without feeling regret or nausea. Not only did I want to move off of my toning plateau, I wanted to stop waking up with the shakes for birthday cake every morning. I still nab some sugar on special occasions, but otherwise, I keep Stevia in my cupboard and only take shots of juice instead of my favored Big Gulp serving.

So with the help of some lean protein, a pretty nifty little gym, a distinct lack of sweets, and cutting out all of that gross-but-I-love-it food I randomly crave, my once fragile little body is actually kind of normal again. I can run sometimes! I can help my boyfriend lift huge boxes without straining! I could challenge Michelle Obama to an arm off! (She would win, but I'm almost there, thanks to her inspiration.) Rawr.

Ladies and gents, another gonna off the list. However, this is one I'll always be working on, and I'm starting to love doing just that.

Health, love, and happiness... or some shit like that.